....

I'm upset again. I don't know why, but I'm feeling alone again. My "friends" always have more conversation between them and I'm always the "one-who-don't-like-so-she'll-not-enter-in-the-conversation". I like the girls [I'm talking about all of them], but, for example, I don't like one group, so I'm not on the conversation. Times like these that I think "I only exist to write them fanfictions". Somehow this is really true, but you know what? My next chapters... I'll write it and I'll NOT tell 'em. I'll continue writing, because it's something that I really love and enjoy of doing in my life, will not stop writing because of it. But I'll try to be.. far. Because I don't want to have those "emo" times, cuz it's those 'times' that I really see things in it's real side. They'll not read this blog, but blog is blog and we write what we are feeling, right? I'm feeling betrayed. Ok, that's it, I spoke up. Betrayed. Because I'm so f*****ng tired of do everything ppl want and they never EVER say anything... they might think "oh, Debbie is so cute and so friendly, she do everything we ask her for!". This is really true, I'm always doing my best for my "friends" and they don't even CARE. College ones.. The Class president don't say ANYTHING, I'm the one who do his "job". I'm always there when they want dates of exams, always there to do everything they want to. Same with my online "friends". If they ask me something, I'll do, depends of the person and of the type of the thing they want to.

Anyway, I'll try to not think about this. Because everytime I think, I end up crying and asking myself why I'm like this, to believe that everybody's cute and everybody's good. I know ppl aren't 100% good, but I always see their good side. Always. Even if I don't like the person, I always try to see their good sides... very stupid example, but lets put YooBin here. I don't like her, everybody knows that, and after the "elbow thing", I REALLY don't like her. But besides it, I think she's a good rapper and have beautiful legs. I'll not love her, 'oh, Yoobin unnie, I love you'.

Top 10 Reasons Why I Adopted DongHae as Older Brother (another stupid Top 10)

10. His pairing, EunHae. EunHyuk is my favorite. DongHae was ALMOST my favorite. Ok, that's a lie. The #10 reason is: He was the King of NG's of SJ's Movie. I always laugh and loose my concetration doing College works. Always make people laugh, this is not so good though..

09. He says he don't like skinship, but it's always hugging someone. I don't like it either, but when I need a hug, I hug.

08. We can't sleep when there's someone snoring loud. When I wake up in the middle of the night, I can't sleep because of my father. He snores a little.. loud. So I decide to study.

07. We hate to eat alone. Or go out alone. Lots of times I don't go to the beach cuz I don't like to go alone. The sun is hot, people going to the beach to have fun.. and I'm @ home, cuz I don't like to go alone.

06. When I was a kid [and a teenager -omo, I'm so old ¬¬], I had this friend, she scares me. All her things, even her bedroom... were pink. Disgusting! That's why I don't like pink. Donghae have a reason similar to it, with Sungmin xD

05. When I'm happy or scared, I talk "gauchês" (people in Rio Grande do Sul speaks like that). Always, always. He talks "Mokpo-ish" xD

04. We can't sleep well when we're not @ home. I'm afraid of something to happen.

03. We are always having insonia. So I remember you about the #8. I sleep, but I wake up and because of my father, I can't really sleep. I don't remember the last night that I slept all over the night.

02. We are always biting our lips. My mom always fight with me about it.

And the #1 Reason why I adopted DongHae as Older Brother:
01. We always feel alone, always need someone to protect us, someone who take care of us.. We cry easily too. When I read/watch somethings he say, I start to cry. To resume, we are sensible.