Off

So this is it. I'm going to be off for some days. Firstly, because I have to study for my final exams and finish my college works. Secondly, to stop stressing. Yayoi [a big friend of mine, I consider her as my best friend, besides Tamara] talked to me and said the thing that was on my mind this morning. I'll be away of everything. All the forums and forget that msn, aim and yahoo messenger exists. [At college I'm stressed too, but anyway].

Yesterday, I deleted lots of people from "some" groups. If you're in on of those and you can't see me online, God bless you, you're one of the persons who are making me mad. I was to delete some more, but those people I will "miss", so I haven't. Example: 31 ppl - 13 now. I wanted 15, but anyway. I need to study. VF [ Final Verification ] means x2. And need to stop worring with those people, they made me sad. If I'm talking to you and I'm putting lots of "^^", be sure that I'm not okay.

So that's it. See you some day. You'll not miss me anyway, so bye.

ps: To Van and Tata: I'll be back, we need to work! AP:BR Team fighting!
ps2: To Jesse: Happy Birthday for you on Nov 27th, and again, welcome to the family! <3


At Least I Still Have You - Amber Pacific

....

I'm upset again. I don't know why, but I'm feeling alone again. My "friends" always have more conversation between them and I'm always the "one-who-don't-like-so-she'll-not-enter-in-the-conversation". I like the girls [I'm talking about all of them], but, for example, I don't like one group, so I'm not on the conversation. Times like these that I think "I only exist to write them fanfictions". Somehow this is really true, but you know what? My next chapters... I'll write it and I'll NOT tell 'em. I'll continue writing, because it's something that I really love and enjoy of doing in my life, will not stop writing because of it. But I'll try to be.. far. Because I don't want to have those "emo" times, cuz it's those 'times' that I really see things in it's real side. They'll not read this blog, but blog is blog and we write what we are feeling, right? I'm feeling betrayed. Ok, that's it, I spoke up. Betrayed. Because I'm so f*****ng tired of do everything ppl want and they never EVER say anything... they might think "oh, Debbie is so cute and so friendly, she do everything we ask her for!". This is really true, I'm always doing my best for my "friends" and they don't even CARE. College ones.. The Class president don't say ANYTHING, I'm the one who do his "job". I'm always there when they want dates of exams, always there to do everything they want to. Same with my online "friends". If they ask me something, I'll do, depends of the person and of the type of the thing they want to.

Anyway, I'll try to not think about this. Because everytime I think, I end up crying and asking myself why I'm like this, to believe that everybody's cute and everybody's good. I know ppl aren't 100% good, but I always see their good side. Always. Even if I don't like the person, I always try to see their good sides... very stupid example, but lets put YooBin here. I don't like her, everybody knows that, and after the "elbow thing", I REALLY don't like her. But besides it, I think she's a good rapper and have beautiful legs. I'll not love her, 'oh, Yoobin unnie, I love you'.

Top 10 Reasons Why I Adopted DongHae as Older Brother (another stupid Top 10)

10. His pairing, EunHae. EunHyuk is my favorite. DongHae was ALMOST my favorite. Ok, that's a lie. The #10 reason is: He was the King of NG's of SJ's Movie. I always laugh and loose my concetration doing College works. Always make people laugh, this is not so good though..

09. He says he don't like skinship, but it's always hugging someone. I don't like it either, but when I need a hug, I hug.

08. We can't sleep when there's someone snoring loud. When I wake up in the middle of the night, I can't sleep because of my father. He snores a little.. loud. So I decide to study.

07. We hate to eat alone. Or go out alone. Lots of times I don't go to the beach cuz I don't like to go alone. The sun is hot, people going to the beach to have fun.. and I'm @ home, cuz I don't like to go alone.

06. When I was a kid [and a teenager -omo, I'm so old ¬¬], I had this friend, she scares me. All her things, even her bedroom... were pink. Disgusting! That's why I don't like pink. Donghae have a reason similar to it, with Sungmin xD

05. When I'm happy or scared, I talk "gauchês" (people in Rio Grande do Sul speaks like that). Always, always. He talks "Mokpo-ish" xD

04. We can't sleep well when we're not @ home. I'm afraid of something to happen.

03. We are always having insonia. So I remember you about the #8. I sleep, but I wake up and because of my father, I can't really sleep. I don't remember the last night that I slept all over the night.

02. We are always biting our lips. My mom always fight with me about it.

And the #1 Reason why I adopted DongHae as Older Brother:
01. We always feel alone, always need someone to protect us, someone who take care of us.. We cry easily too. When I read/watch somethings he say, I start to cry. To resume, we are sensible.

Somethings are better left unsaid..

I'm getting stressed. The year is finishing and I have lots of college works to do. You know when you know that you need to do it but don't know what to do first? That's it. I have a Travel Program to do [Pantanal], my Marketing exam, a website for my Informatic work and a Culture work to do, besides study for the final exams. My colleagues are thinking "She doesn't do ANYTHING, she don't seems to be interested", but the real truth is... I can't take it anymore. For the first time in my entire life, I want vacations or I'll explode!

I need to laugh (like today, I had lunch with Miry unnie), I want tolisten music out loud, wanna travel, I want hugs..

TOP 10 Reasons why Hyuk and I were made to each other - ok, that's so stupid, but no-one reads this blog..

10. His favorite school subject, besides P.E, was Geography. My grades were good in Geography when I was in school, in fact, I was the best Geography student in my schools.

09. When I have terrible dreams with him, he always appears in SuKiRa with my favorite coats ever. The black one, the white one and the gray one. Let's not talk about his shirts..

08. I superduperlove Westlife, and, one day, he sang "My Love". And I woke up that day with "My Love" in my head, spend the morning listening it. When I arrive @ home and opened SuKiRa, he started to sing it. Besides "My Love", he always sing my favorite songs. Like one day, he sang "Lovely Day", I write a fanfiction called "Lovely Day" and was addicted to it (to the song).

07. When I'm watching SuKira, we do all the same moves almost the same times. Like the hair thing, to drink something, to laugh with something on the internet. Always. Sometimes these little things scares me.

06. All my friends knows about my "obsession" with Stitch, and he took a picture with it.

05. My friends and my family says that's too easy to make me cry. And really is. If you just tell me "I don't like you anymore", I'll cry after ask you why.

04. He wants to meet Japan and Egypt. If you ask someone of my family, they'll tell you my obsession with Japan and Egypt when I was a kid.

03. It's too difficult to express my feelings. I can only demonstrate it giving hugs. I'm very shy with people, only those ones that I already met knows me. With boys.. hahaha no comments.

02. When I was a kid, my cousins were very mean to me. One day, we went to a place full of candy, and I couldn't take the candies that I wanted to, so I cried. I was crying so much that they gave me their candies, wasn't so sweet like I wanted, but I ate it. This happened with him too. Fact or fiction?

The number one reason why we were made to each other is:

01. He like girls with curly hair, not long or short, not too skinny not too fat, and who makes him smile and laugh. My hair is curly, it's medium size, I'm not skinny and I'm always making people laugh. O_O

Miss You

My band mates..
OMG, today I missed them SO MUCH, I even cried! We haven't met each other since last year.. Let me introduce them: The twins Millie (bass) and Nique (guitar), Nai (guitar) and Debbie (me - drums). We are Son of Dork cover - actually, we haven't played any songs of them with the instruments YET. We've met because of them and we are friends because of them.
But they "split" [we don't know if SoD really ended, it's a big story..] and then we started to be busy with colleges and stuff.. I started to like Asian Music.. and that's the situation.

This night I had a cute and awesome dream with Hyuk and stuff, but woke up with "Little Things" in my head. Searched my SoD cd and onlystopped to listen when it was 10am (dance time).
The videos that I wrote, my fanfictions... the pictures that I took with them [the girls]... I cried. Really cried, I even posted a photo entry in my fotolog, I can't take it anymore. I miss them, I miss our conversations, I miss our dreams, I miss everything. And I want to play with them, our real band, Daughter of Dork, Nai, Nique, Millie and Debbie. And even Bel, she could play the guitar.. *thinks* who knows.. ^^'

I'm "bored". It's that time of the day again, when I look to the computer and ask myself: why i'm here if i need to study...?

To start my "beautiful" day: Last night I almost had a heart attack. I'm not kidding, I'm still shaking.. anyway. And started to rain. Rain a lot, a lot, a lot. I like and stuff, but I couldn't sleep! I'm awake since 1am, and it's almost 8pm.

My day was, as you see, terrible. I slept in Marketing class, two times. Asked some things and then slept. But the "worst" part is was when this class finished. All Thursdays and Friday I have Info class, computer time. I spend this "time" talking with the girls from SJ-OR13 forum and Everlasting Friends forum. I turned on the computer and then Fillipe appeared, asking me if he could use the computer. No problem, but everybody wants to use the computer I use, cuz no-one see what I'm doing. I started to study Malay (yes, Malay), send two messages. He finished his thing and I decided to read some news and forum. Almost sleeping. I'm feeling like one of those undeads from Michael Jackson's "Thriller". I'm dancing, so that's it, I'm an undead person from MJ's video ¬¬

Our "Don't Don" collab is finished! Poor Hyukkie oppa! :x My rap is terrible, hope to make a better voice when I sang KangIn appa's part in "U". I wanna sing 로꾸거 and 나 같은건 없는건가요..

Maybe tomorrow I'll met the girls to (finally) watch Super Show. To be honest, I don't know what I'm doing, what I'll do, what I want now and what I want for my future. My friend and my mom says that I'm tired. I don't know if I really am, but I can't sleep at night, I spend this time studying and dancing. Believe me, it's good and it's horrible.

Tomorrow is Holiday here in Brazil. Dunno what I'll do... At first, I'll go to my unnie's house to watch the concert..

Do you feel weird when you're so happy, but, in another time, you're so sad..? Without reason? I'm like this now. Until dunno.. two hours ago, I was so happy that I was almost screaming. And now I'm tired/sad without (without?) reason.

Anyway, let's dream because pillow is cheap and you don't need to pay to dream.
Or you do need to pay...?

I want to write an one-shot to Na Woon-ssi, but I can't put it on the paper! I spend the hole morning thinking about it, I even opened Wordpad, but I can't put it in words.. I want to write her an one shot cuz she's so cute and so sweet! She's from Indonesia, so far from me, but dunno, I really like her ^^ My dear dongsaeng, who loves Yesung oppa ^^ And she'll revenge JongJin dongsaeng ^^ *he deserves* * in her fanfiction ^^*

Talking about fanfictions, I need to write.. But I'll only start, because my final exams are coming and I need to study. I'm a little bit "lazy" now, so I'll study more. I'll stop dancing (yes, I dance @ night, cuz I don't have any energy to dance @ afternoon ._.) and study more. The problem is.. how? Economic and Marketing are the worse ones.. I'm worried, really am. But I don't want to ask help to my college "friends". Cuz I do everything for them and they never help me, only a few ppl (Beta, Fran and Lilly, but Beta helps more).

I'm not bored. Actually, I need to study, but I can't concentrate. I'm listening the same song (You're my Endless Love) since 16hrs, and it's almost 17:30hrs. All the time, non stop. My favorite song from super Junior. And it's only because.. once I had a dream. And this song was in it. Then, everytime that I listen this song, I feel something weird.. And end up crying.

Enn up... "End up like this". Anio, anio, NO Son of Dork for me, I don't want it!

I'll do Hyukkie's 100 Questions.. I-need-to-study-and-I'm-answering-it ^^

1. Name: Deborah (a.k.a Debbie, a.k.a Sang Jin)
2. Age: Right now, 19
3. Birthdate: 08.06.1989
4. Schools you've attended: Don't remember the names..
6. Height: 1.66cm
7. Blood type: A
8. Religion: Uhnn
9. Hobbies: Studying, watching gag (comedy) programs (2)
10. Personality: Everyone probably knows already, I'm nice. But when someone takes away my food, I'm not nice =.=" (2)
11. What makes you happy in a day: A smile.
12. Something you're not satisfied with at the moment: My grades, even if they're great.
13. What you wear to sleep: Whatever
14. Type of hairstyle you like on a boy: Whatever.
15. Dream Boy: someone who makes me smile and makes me laugh. Someone who I can always hug.
16. Habits: Bite nails
17. Fruits you like: Strawberies, Mango
18. Vegetables you like: Lettuce LOL
19. Female celebrity that you think is good-looking: Uhnnnn..
20. Male celebrity that you think is pretty: My taste is very "unclear" to some ppl, so I prefer to not answer it ^^
21. An item you cherish; Dunno
22. Number you like: 8 and 4
23. Something you're pondering/wondering: Some people are cruel..
24. My promise: I won't be normal..i want to live with a normal face. (2)
25. How are you feeling now: Not happy, but not sad.
26. What you want to do right now: A hug.
27. A kid you like: Dunno
28. Fave foods: Pizza (2)
29. Foods you dislike: Some..
30. Foot size: 37 in Brazil ^^
31. Alcohol intake: alcohol No~ (2)
32. Smoke: smoke No~ (2)
33. A movie you watched that you thought was sad: "A Moment To Remember". Cried like a baby.
34. Childhood dream: Save the world. (keep dreaming!)
35. Motto: Don't have any.
36. Hours of sleep: I hate sleep
37. Future hope: Don't know..
38. What do you think you laugh most at: I laugh really easily -0- (2)
39. What you cook well: Ramen O_O And everything mom says "You'll be fat"
40. Where you live now: My house? Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
41. A memory that lasts in your mind: When I met Simple Plan.
42. What saying you use often: it's different every every time (2)
43. How long you've been away from home: 1 month
44. First kiss: I don't really remember..
45. If you did, where: since it's happened in the past, forget~~I regret it a lot too (2)
46. What you look @ first when you see a boy: Smile.
47. If you have a boyfriend: if I have a b/f; what kind of answer do you want -0-? (2)
48. If I was in a love triangle: meet each one individually and clear things up (2)
49. If the person you love betrays you: if the person really loves another person, I can understand (2)
50. What you want to give to the person you love: Love?
51. What you do at school: Study? ¬¬
52. Fave flower: I don't know the names of many flowers keke (2)
53. Fave song: LOTS.
54. Fave color: Blue, purple, gray, white.
55. Age range of person to marry: Don't know
56. What do you do in your spare time: Write. Read.
57. First love: ..
58. If you had 100manwon: bravo~ (2)
59. A drama you liked: Don't have a favorite. Actually, I don't really like to watch tv.
60. Movie you enjoyed: Ferris Bueller's Day Off. WATCH IT! You'll laugh a lot.
62. How do you relieve stress: Dance. Write. Take a nap.
63. What you want to learn: To write scripts.
65. If your boyfriend had a limited amount of time left: What? o.o
66. When you feel that you don't like yourself: When I have bad grades.
67. Sex before marriage: Anio?
68. Life principle: Smile.
69. Weather you enjoy: clear, beautiful weather (2)
70. What you watch on tv a day: The news. They're cool.
71. Important friend: aren't all friends important? (2)
72. Living is? Necessary? O.o What kind of question is that?
73. Fave drinks: orange juice (2)
75. Snacks you like: Something with chocolate.
76. If you and your b/f break up where would you go: My room and open my Japanese book to study.
77. A teacher you respect: because I'm a nice student I respect most of my teachers (2)
78. Introduce your family: Mom.. dad... grandmother.. bird.. older twin brothers by dad's part. Very loud, very Brazilian, very "meat eaters". But everybody very lovely.
79. Happiness is: it varies from person to person, doesn't it? No matter what it is if it gives someone joy and if you think it is, I think that it's happiness (2)
80. From past birthday presents, one you remember most: A great hug.
81. Animals you like: Dogs
82. Plant you like: grass (2)
83. Favorite season: it doesn't matter what season just as long as it's a clear day (2)
84. What you think about homosexuals: Let them live their lifes!
85. If you had to choose between friendship or love: to tell you the truth, I still haven't been able to decide yet (2)
86. If the world ended tomorrow: Dunno what to do.
87. Singing ability: My voice is terrible!
88. Dancing ability: My dancing skills are terrible! But I'm practicing.
89. Song you like: Lots
90. Things you have to have in a relationship: trust and understanding (2)
91. Subjects you like: Geography (2)
92. Girls that are older, guys that are older (& dating): uhm, what's wrong with it~if they both love each other.. (2)
93. If you died tomorrow: Tell the ones that I love how important they are to me.
94. When will you get married: Dunno.
95. In twenty years, your appearance: A cool mistery (2)
96. Places you want to visit: Egypt (2), Indonesia, Thailand, Malaysia, Singapore, Japan..
98. To the person reading this: No one will read this ¬¬
99. If there's something you need to change about yourself: Yes, there is xP
100. Any last comments: Hi, nice weather.

English again

I decided to write in English again.. don't ask why .______.

Anyway... I'm feeling terrible. I had a super terrible and weird dream [and yesterday, my dream was SO DAMN BEAUTIFUL that I still can't believe I dreamt with it ^^] with the President ._. Went to college sleeping in the car.. my dad fighted with me about a thing with my aunt ¬¬
When I arrived, my Marketing teacher asked me lots of things in Japanese. I don't see any problem with it, but all the time "how can we say 'this'?" ¬¬' Then my Agency class... I haven't finished the homework [was too tired yesterday ><], and he said "I knew you wouldn't do it" to my friend. She turned on the "f**k you" but I was sad for her. It was very cruel from him to talk like that. I know he's one of the Tourism intelligences of Brazil and stuff, but hey, he can't simply say 'hey, I knew you wouldn't do it, cuz you're too lazy' ¬¬ And yesterday, my Economic teacher had a "fight" with my class. It's always "turma do fundão" [the ones who sits in the end of the classroom and talk all class ><]. I know he's right, they talk too much.. Anyways, I'm with a bad heachade now..
Then I came home thinking about my final exams. They'll be easy [ok, some], but the difficult ones. Marketing and Economic.. I'm never satisfied with my grades.. They are all , 8.6, 9.0 (from 10.0), but I always want more.. Ok, then I opened SuKiRa.
Life is so mean with me! Hyuk Jae + gray clothes always makes me melt *-*.. I write a fanfiction called "Lovely Day" and guess what? He sang two or four lines of the song... "Lovely Day"! My first smile of the day! SuKiRa finished with one of my favorite songs from Keane.

Isn't he cute? *-*



And now here I am, studying Japanese and Marketing.. ¬¬' I really like to learn Languages [I wanna know: Indonesian, Malay, Thai, Korean and Japanese *-*], I prefer more that learn anything else. One day, I'll speak all those languages *-* *dreams*




Just to send "hi, I'm alive!"

Não acredito, não acredito! Passar tanto tempo off do MySpace faz eu perder coisas assim! Eu estou tão feliz, tão feliz... Bem vindos, Jesse e Davy, ao Amber Pacific!
Isso é tão.. feliz! Ok, eu gosto do Matt, está com o AP desde que eu conheci, em 2005, mas estava sentindo tantas saudades deles.. Eu até chorava. Eles não me respondiam, só o Dango, uma vez, até porque minha mensagem estava meio malcriada.. xP Mas malcriada em um sentindo não-grosseiro ^^
Vendo eles agora, assim.. nossa, meu coração deu um pulo, sério!
E o melhor... acabei de ir na comuna.. tem um video, uma fancam, de uma música nova, "'What You See Isn't Always What You Get'"....... cacetadas miúdas e atropeladas, eu vou morrer, sério!!! Eu amo tanto esses meninos, mas tanto que acho que faria tudo por eles, tudo mesmo..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OCdsdaBqS9M&NR=1
Tá caindo lágrimas dos meus olhos, geeeente, que horror xDD Eu lacrimejo muito fácil, isso ainda vai me fazer mal... Sério!!

*joga a franja que não tem*
E hoje acordei tão péssima.. me sentia péssima, tive um sonho bizarro. A aula de inglês foi tão xoxa, mas me alegrou um pouco. O detalhe legal.. eu entrei na sala, estava escutando música. Assim que a Jin entrou, começou SJM *-* E ela é chinesa! E é mesmo um doce. E eu ri um tico, mesmo me sentindo a pior pessoa do universo.
Acho que todo mundo tem essas crises existenciais, eu as tenho demais.

Se tem uma coisa que arrancou um sorriso de mim hoje.. foi "saber" do Amber Pacific. Não aguentava mais aqueles "aguarde por notícias, Debbie, logo a gente volta com tudo" do Dango.. Ele super me deixava preocupada e ansiosa!
E repara, o Will fez tatuagem!! E compôs uns dois cds, hehehe xD Ele é um gênio, espero que ele sempre se lembre da gente falando disso!
E o Gregers, meu magrelinho tímido e adorador de pizza e TMNT *-* Tá lindo!! Como sempre, obviously!
Dang Dang Dango *-* Meu baterista preferido, ídolo super! Super tenho o Dango alguém em quem confiar.. depois do email fofo dele, dizendo pra esperar e que eu tinha o direito de reclamar, e que tinha ficado meio sem graça ao ler que eu confiava nele mesmo estando tão distante, se tornou meu docinho super americano :)
E Davy e Jesse.. espero que nós sejamos amigos e possamos trabalhar em equipe..
Amber Pacific Brazil voltará com tudo, desta vez! Ninguém segurará xDD

*sorrindo feliz*

Quanto tempo sem postar... mas também, nada muito legal acontece >_____________<
Vim aqui só pra falar besteira, já que ninguém lê essa coisa mesmo.. graças!

"Malhação" não lembra "Barrados no Baile"? Turma de amigos, que frequentam a mesma escola, mutretinhas pra pegar o namorado da outra, sempre a mesma ladainha. Mas "Barrados" era muito mais legal.. sei lá, era mais interessante...

Aaaaah, viram que layout lindo que Chazz fez pra mim? *-* Babei horrores agora que vi, não estava conseguindo colocar ><

Ah... hoje estou meio sem ânimo... ><

love song - super junior m

Pois bem..

Pois é.. ontem fizemos um "piquenique" na sala de aula, pra ver "Frankenstein". Os nossos comentários são os melhores, FATO! E foi a versão mais recente [eu acho], estava quase todo mundo de Harry Potter lá.. o Victor era o Profº Gilderoy Lockhart, a Elisabeth era a Bellatrix [ídola], o outro carinha do começo do filme era o Nick-Quase-Sem-Cabeça.. muita gente conhecida, e não só as pessoas, mas o cenário [a chata que grava cenários], tipo.. a saída da faculdade parecia demais com a entrada daquela cidadezinha que eu esqueço, de HP..
Enfim, foi "lekau" ^^

Amanhã tenho prova.. mas não estou preocupada, seriously. Geralmente eu fico, mas eu estou tranquila a beça, sei lá por que.. Eu quero fazer a prova de Agenciamento I *-* Mas não tem Amapá e eu desanimo U_U Uai, sem problemas, vamos pro Sul e pra Minas, visitar Tata, Fefa, Lu, Ludizinha, Carlinha e Mihoshi omma s2 Preciso dizer que amei essa matéria? Tá, eu AMEI essa matéria, mal vejo a hora de ter Agenciamento Internacional s2 Criar roteiros, ah, como é bom fazer o povo feliz *-* Meu único problema ainda é os código, tipo "Z" - Zulu, mas isso a gente pega aos poucos *-* Vou catar um curso de Amadeus *-* Amei de verdade isso! Tanto é que eu já tenho uns três roteiros de viagem pra Coréia do Sul *-* Dois pra Seul e um pra Jeju-do ^^ Hotel eu não pus, mas as outras coisas todas, eu já fiz.. e estou em busca de Tarifário de lá s2 E estou pensando em fazer um pra minha querida terra do sorriso, Tailândia *-* E Malásia, ah, Malásia! Indonésia, Vietnã, Índia, aish, por que a Ásia me atrai tantoooo! *-*

Essa noite fui dormir meia noite e dois.. minhas costas estavam doendo. Se não fosse por isso, teria ficado mais tempo falando com a Lu e a Fê.. Passa 10hrs, eu acordo. Passa 11hrs, eu fico atacada xPPP

Isso aqui eu escrevi já faz tempo, começo do ano.. E é sobre o Busted [é, os "criadores" do Jonas Brothers u.u].. Espero que alguém goste, é bem micro.

A vida era um bumerangue. Você lança para longe e, um belo dia, ele retorna. As coisas não iriam ser como antes, afinal eles não eram tão "novinhos". O mais novo deu um risinho quando o mais velho deu um tapinha em seu ombro, encorajando.
_Prontos? - suspirou Matt, sorridente.
_Eu estou. - James sorriu.
_Rapazes... - Charlie fez uma voz indecisa. James ia abrir a boca para reclamar, quando Charlie fez expressão de tom de brincadeira _Vamos colocar o Arena abaixo! - os três sorriram.
Matt deu a partida, e os três correram pela rampa, onde os fãs esperavam, ansiosamente, o retorno. A mesma rampa de "Who's David?".